The final journey
Originally Sue and I hoped to write a blog for each day we were away on our holiday together – but we found ourselves completely distracted with relaxing and enjoying the beauty of 1770.
The last two days Sue and I have been the girliest of girls – we have been pampered from head to toe – stone and body massages, pedicures, manicures, facials – hair treatments, yoga, slothed by the pool and swam in the spa, ate good food and enjoyed good wine – you name it we have done it and loved every single moment.
Both of us are always busy with our work lives and I know that I have made myself so busy these last few years, so that I haven’t been able to stop and think – I think there has always been a part of me that has been frightened to really stand still in time for fear of what feelings or grief may come up. Guess what? I was ok and in fact taking this time has given me the clarity I have needed for so long about how my life should be moving forward and it has also given me the confidence to say I can do this!
Another part of this trip has been that I have got to explore my inner Tom boy – as you know I love to exercise every day, lifting weights, running, and boxing – always looking for ways to pound my body and keep active. This trip has been a little different, I did do a crazy two hour run the first day, but the rest of the time Sue and I have been out bush walking every day, keeping active as I like to do – but getting to experience the wonder and beauty of this amazing place.
What I did discover about myself this week is that I really enjoy the bush, the mountains and the ocean – I have been so relaxed and probably the happiest I had been since the accident. Yesterday Sue and I went on a long bush walk, it led us to the ocean, up over cliffs and eventually to the most majestic ocean cove I have ever seen - I sat in this cove alone on the rocks – with the most beautiful view – the waves washed in over the rocks sometimes fierce and strong – sometimes gentle and calming.
As I sat there I thought of life, my past life before the accident and the love, laughter, dreams and happiness my family shared together. I then thought of the last three years, the sadness I have felt but also the blanket of love I have felt from family, friends and my gym community – you have made me feel so safe and protected and you have helped me and family survive the worst time in my life. I also know that the last six months I have been in a holding pattern in this safe cocoon I have created for fear of the unknown and my life changing again – I know this has not been healthy for me and I need now to let go and move forward.
So in this moment in the cove for the first time I allowed myself to feel and trust that I have a future -one that will be happy - one filled with new experiences and challenges and I can create a new life without Paul and it will be ok. I have made it this far and I am still standing.
Finally I can begin to dream some new dreams and start to live them. Yesterday’s cove was perhaps one of the most beautiful places I have experienced – it made me realise there are thousands of equally beautiful places in Australia and all over the world that are calling for me to visit.
Who would think a woman who is in her late forties can still continue to grow and learn – feeling happy for the growth this week and ok about future!
I have been privileged to be on this journey with Shelley. We have been friends for all of our adult lives and I have been beside her for all of the momentous events in her life – the good, the bad and the ugly. To be with her when she came to this place in her heart and life is probably the most momentous of them all.
Shelley Myatt is the owner and operator of Shelley Myatt Fitness and Well-Being, Columnist, Life Coach & Motivational Speaker based in Toowoomba, Qld.